Nevermore
by Twilight Joltik
Summary: *spoilers for Face The Raven* Clara just wants to die with some degree of dignity, but in all honesty, there's hardly anything left in her to be killed. One-shot, stream-of-consciousness style. Written before Hell Bent aired, so forgive the discrepancies with the ending.


_**AN- Guess what? Clara is dead! Say what you might about how it went down, but at least the Statue of Liberty wasn't a Weeping Angel. So, I wrote a little stream-of-consciousness thing about her in her final moments, because I am a writer and that is what I do when a television show makes me feel things. So, thank you, I only own my own ideas, and enjoy! -Twilight Joltik**_

* * *

 _Nevermore_

 _By Twilight Joltik_

 _Forgive me…_

The lamps loom overhead, casting their shadows across the narrow streets. Once, I would have found this place remarkable, thought the fact that a trap street was filled with alien refugees incredible.

The girl who marveled over such things is gone.

Walking upon it, I can hear my heart beating like the ticking of a clock. Seconds blown away by pulses, telling me that the number of them I had left was very, very finite.

 _Let me be brave…_

I beg myself to not face the Raven with cowardice. I always hated it when they would die screaming, die begging, die crying. It was hard not to, though. I see that now.

So many times now, I should have met this end. So many times, The Doctor had cheated me out of it. How many times had it been that I had avoided this fate by the skin of my teeth?

Enough that I had outlived a million better people than I. There were more good people I had seen die than seconds left in my life.

 _Thump, tick, thump, tick…_

At very least, I had been afforded a heroic death, right? Saving Rigby's family from the same sad fate mine had fallen into and all?

Mother, I'll see you soon, I bet. Odd, I'd almost forgotten all about you. You and dad and grandma, I hadn't afforded you a thought in ages. How did that happen? You used to be the only thing on my mind and now…

 _I… don't know where "I" am…_

Whatever happened to that girl, anyways? You know, the one who wanted to see 101 Places on this planet before she died? I bet I never got to see half of those, 'cause I got too distracted by Time and Space to care about my old wishes.

Standing as my heart beats away its last seconds, I wonder if some splinters of myself, the ones I sent through The Doctor's timeline all combined saw those places. All the human marvels in this world, all I regret is not being able to see them like that little girl and her mother had dreamed of.

 _I'm sorry… I'm sorry…_

A dead leaf blows away in the wind. I see it out of the corner of my eye, and it makes the ticking clock in my chest pick up pace. It's for me, I know it, and I know the Raven is getting closer.

The Doctor… I know he's not okay. I know I'm not okay, but this was inevitable. One of these days, I knew I was going to meet a trap I couldn't outwit, and it's better sooner than later, before more of the woman who cared for the… ah, what was the name of the children I cared for back when I first met him? Such dear family friends, and I hadn't even spoken to them in years.

At school, there were kids in my class that would care about what had become of me. I had a family that loved me very much. Friends and co-workers and so many people I had met in this life, but not one of them mattered enough for me to keep up with them. No one had mattered in months but The Doctor.

 _But... I'm really fine, aren't I?_

I was already on my way out, it seemed. My life hadn't interested me in ages. I lived for The Doctor, for the pounding of adrenaline that made me forget things. Forget Mum, forget Dad, forget all the splinters floating around, forget… Danny…

It's The Doctor that isn't fine, but I know he will be. He's lived a thousand years before me, and surely lost enough friends that he could get over it. It was a phase, I was a phase, and his reliance on me will shift to the next pretty face to tell him how clever he is.

Black starts to crash in on my face. I've made my peace with this, but damn, I don't want to die.

 _Please, just let me be brave…_

Shaking, everything narrows, and I can't keep my eyes from burning. It's going to hurt… It's going to hurt…

Oh God, it hurts. I know I'm screaming as it crashes into me, I know I'm dying how I didn't want to, but dear God, it just hurts! My stomach, my chest, everything is screaming until all the sudden, it isn't.

As my life fades to black, I try to look at My Doctor. I don't want him to cry. I just want him to run from this memory.

 _Run, you clever boy, and forget me._

 _END._


End file.
